In Memoriam
Brian Carmello
The Jersey Shore Youth Rugby community is saddened by the passing of Brian Carmello, a dedicated coach of many years for the program, and the proud parent of Rocco and Isabella. Brian was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and went through rounds of treatments. Despite the toll of chemotherapy, radiation, and all that he was going through, Brian remained a constant presence on the field, and a committed member of the Board. In July 2021, the JSYR coaches awarded him a “Man of Steel” trophy at a Falcons team banquet held at Val’s — club headquarters. We weren’t aware of the severity of his health issue at the time, but we did know this: since joining in 2018, we could not think of a single time when Brian missed a practice, or a Saturday rugby tournament. Even after his cancer diagnosis, that streak continued.
He was always on time — a focused presence as a coach, and a total team player when it came to the good of the club. He’d wear the JSYR coaching kit jersey, march onto the field with Rocco and his rugby team, and guide them up and down the pitch, with gruff commands and clear directions. Over the years, he coached three of our four age group
Brian coaching the Owls in the early days, with Parker Wells in center, and Rocco in the background.
Brian lived in Red Bank with his wife Tammy. While Rocco played, his older sister Isabella became a critical part of our opening day organization and management, and a dedicated volunteer for all major club events, including the annual “Flag Fest” tournament that we host in Fair Haven. Brian proudly donned the watermelon jersey for that event and — no surprise — was a major part of planning and prep every year. In fact, the only time one of us recalls Brian losing patience with a senior member of our club, was at 10:30 pm on a Friday night, on the rugby fields, the night before our tournament, when a fellow coach he was guiding through a field lining miscalculated an angle and added another 30 minutes to the night. On the outside, a stern gaze, close clipped hair and beard, and a front row build. On the inside, a huge heart, and a quick wit. The start of the summer youth rugby season always brought a long list of unknowns. One thing was certain: Brian would be there on time, ready to coach, with Rocco ready to play, and Isabella ready to help. You could bank on it.
We were so relieved to see him improve last summer and remain as dependable as ever. In the fall, he brought Rocco to some tackle rugby sessions and a few of us would see him on the sidelines of the local flag football circuit. During his battle and recovery, Brian never once complained to us. He never brought his pain to the pitch. All he let on was that he was fighting cancer, and that was that.
Brian learned recently that the cancer had returned, and shortly after checking into a hospital, he died. We have such great memories of Brian as a JSYR husband, coach, parent, and board member, whose dry sense of humor on our text exchanges still has us laughing to this day, and whose commitment we will always cherish. We’ll miss Brian greatly, but he and his family will always be part of our club and family. Rest in peace Coach Brian.
Yours in rugby,
The JYSR board, coaches, and family.
In lieu of flowers memorial donations can be made to
Photo: Brian coaching the Hawks on tournament day, his hand on Rocco's shoulder.